One cannot resist

I've had to curb this appetite for doughnuts, simply because I don't want sugar to ruin the elasticity of my skin, but every once it awhile... One cannot resist.

High Fashion Donuts

Donut Still Life

A fine donut pastel made by my dear friend, Alice Owens.

Blueberry Yum Yum

Every Spring daffodils bloom throughout Salt Lake Valley and right around 700 east and 705 south you can smell the fried perfection of Banberry Cross donuts.

In a rush to get to school with freshly cut daffodils in my car, I thought it'd be wise to pass this time. I had picked the flowers for the Department of Workforce Services girls as a thank you for helping me get a grant to go back to school, and didn't want them to wilt.

I walked into the office and what do you know? They had a box of banberry cross donuts in center of the room. I gave them each a flower, and they asked, "Valerie, do you want a donut?" I was like, "are you serious?" I opened the box and boy I'll tell you my mouth just salivated. They had blueberry and strawberry, my two favorite flavors!!! Not to mention this happened on a Thursday (which is my absolute favorite day of the week). This little example just illustrates a universal truth: You get what you give.

8AM

Well,

It's 8AM and I haven't had one ounce of sleep. I've been babysitting a 3 month old doberman and a one year old wiener dog with napoleon complex. Together they bark, piss on the hardwood floor and bark some more. It's been a disaster but I'm fortunate enough to have donuts to ease the rocky start to this morning.

I must say, I went a little overboard getting a half dozen to split with only one friend, but oh, they were so delicious.

Donuts Can Be Healthy

 ...With other food.

BEYOND GLAZE STYROFOAM DONUTS

BEYOND GLAZE...

You charge $2.00 a donut and can't afford to use real plates to serve them in your cute little cafe? You should be ashamed of yourselves. What do we, live in the 40s?

Sharing is Caring

Cherish the Donut

Donut Reinforcement Network

Today's blog is a short lesson about donuts and neuroscience. Recently, I have been exercising my mesolimbic tract by reinforcing donut-seeking behavior through my dopaminergic pathways. As we all know, repetitive and habitual behavior can cause the strengthening of connections between neurons. By writing this blog, eating donuts, and providing you with biased but informative tidbits of knowledge about the wonderful world of glazed, fried pastries, I am choosing to strengthen my donut reward-reinforcement pathways.

Emergency stash $$$ 

Reunited

Ah Yeaaah!

The co-founder of the donut club is back from his internship in Washington D.C. just in time for a birthday doughnut with our special guest Carmyne Ca$h Money.


Tribute song

Petition Dunkin Donuts

Please tell Dunkin Donuts to stop serving styrofoam cups to the masses.

http://www.change.org/petitions/dunkin-donuts-stop-using-styrofoam-cups-and-switch-to-a-more-eco-friendly-solution

Happy National Donut Day

That's right, there's a national donut day! I was so shocked and thrilled to hear this, that I gave my oatmeal to the dog and now I'm off to get a doughnut! But first, to commemorate this glorious day, the donut club will share a little history on the birth of the doughnut:

Back in the 1800s, there was a royal court chef who made pizza for the queen. The queen loved pizza. In fact, it was her favorite meal and most frequent request! All day everyday this queen ate pizza like it was going out of style. Cheese pizza, pepperoni pizza, pizza with salami, pineapple pizza, maple bacon pizza, pizza with sprinkles, heart shaped pizza, any kind, you name it. With all this pizza making, there was an excess of dough in the royal kitchen.

Well, one day, the page boy came into the kitchen to bring the queen her morning pizza, but it wasn't ready. "Oh no..." He thought, "I'm going to be executed." The page boy looked around and saw a big vat of lard boiling on the stove. "Hmmmm..." He thought. He grabbed a wad of dough, flattened it out, and dropped it into the vat. The dough quickly rose and turned into a golden brown color. He tried to lift the flattened dough out, but it broke into little balls. "Help!" Cried the little page boy. The royal chef looked over and grabbed a big wooden spatula."Little page boy, what are you doing?! This lard is for the queen's skin!" "But...But..." His lip quivered. The royal chef handed a wooden spoon to the page boy and one by one they lifted the little balls of dough from the vat. The chef waited a minute, looked at them, then popped a little dough ball into his mouth. "Dannnng, this shit is hot!" He licked his fingers. "Who taught you this?" The chef asked. "I... I was worried I'd be sent to the guillotine for the queen's pizza not being ready, siah," said the page boy. "Oh, sorry about that." The page boy gave a nervous smile. "Well, lets get crackin!" The chef whisked together powdered sugar and water to create a light glaze (which we use now for the glazed doughnut), and poured it over the pizza. He gently threw a few sprinkles on top, placed it on a silver platter and handed it to the page boy. "Siah, ah you shure?" "No, little page boy, but if the queen doesn't like it, we'll just blame you." The little page boy blinked. "Go on now, give it a try."

The page boy slowly turned away and walked up to the queen's chamber. "Who goes there?" She announced. "Tis... Tis I the little page boy your highness." He stuttered. "Little page boy, what's taken you so long? You know what I do to people who keep me from my pizza?" "Ye.... Yes your highness." He cowered. The little page boy lifted the silver platter and bowed to present the pizza. "Wha? What is this?" Asked the queen. "It's a new pizza." "A new pizza? Little page boy, I'll send you to the guillotine for some shit like this. I asked for pepperoni!" "Yes, yes your highness, but I thought that since you eat pepperoni all the time, you'd like to try somethin new." "Well, you thought wrong, off with his head!" The royal guards grabbed the little page boy by the arms and dragged him down the aisle. The queen rolled her eyes and grabbed a little dough ball from the platter. She popped it into her mouth. "Mmmm..." She chewed. "Wow." She licked her fingers and grabbed another little dough ball. "Damn, that's good." The royal chamber doors opened. "Stop!" She yelled. "Bring him back!" The guards brought the little page boy back to the queen. "Little page boy, you've outdone yourself. I'm so pleased with your innovation that I'm promoting you to the lead chef. Fire that other asshole. And isn't your family poor?" She asked. "I'm an orphan." He said. "Well, I'm adopting you." The page boy smiled. The queen and the page boy hugged. "But, I don't think we should call this pizza," she said. "Let's call it a doughnut."

And there you have it, the first doughnut.

I made this story up, but if you want to know the real history of the doughnut, you can look it up on wikipedia or some shit like that.

Oh, and the page boy and the queen lived happily ever after. 

--
Val Douroux
Reporting for the Donut Club